Happy Halloween!

Well, another Halloween season has come and gone, and like almost every October for at least a decade, I have fallen to my personal Halloween curse. There is no October where I do not get dreadfully ill, suffer no problems, or fail to end up in some sort of misery. There’s always too much to do, never enough time, and this year was no different. I really did have high hopes for this blog this year. I had PLANS. I had LISTS. I had IDEAS! Alas. Perhaps I will continue in the tradition of the Year of Halloween, and just turn all of this into an ongoing project. Anyway, Happy Halloween! There are still a handful of hours left today for me to share with my favorite person and make up for lost Halloween time, and I intend to use them to watch monster movies of some sort and maybe eat candy.

I was able to eke out one tiny last bit of Halloween cheer, and finally carved myself a jack-o-lantern this year. It’s one of those ABSOLUTELY-MUST-DO-NO-EXCEPTIONS parts of Halloween that I absolutely did not do for the past few years, despite my best intentions. I don’t know why. I suppose the older that I get, the more tiresome everything becomes, and scooping muck out of a gourd is just, like, ONE iota too much trouble for me on most weeknights. But this year, determined to not let this season become a complete waste, I got a wee little pumpkin and carved it out, and roasted the seeds:


I’m a traditionalist. I like my monsters Universal, and my jack-o-lanterns with triangle features and toothy grins.

And I guess that’s it. It’s time for me to go out and stalk the moors, and to quietly bide my time until next October, planning, scheming, haunting. I suppose I do feel an extra little bit of sadness this year for some reason, but as we all know, Halloween isn’t a day or a month or a season, it’s a lifestyle, and there will be plenty of time in the next 365 for spookiness and joy. And, perhaps, I will make good on all those plans of mine anyway. The witching hour comes every night, after all.

Happy Halloween!

Return of the Living Phonetixs

In Return of the Living Dead Part 2, as the dark of night approachexs and Trioxin gas floodxs the cemetery, Jesse discoverxs a comic book behind his desk.


The movie’s prop designerxs have probably lived long, fulfilling lives, livexs full of love, passion, and excitement, but it is highly doubtful that they know how much they’ve annoyed me for the past 24 years.

An Opportunity Missed


“Igor. This was the brain I asked for, right? The brain of the esteemed and brilliant scientist and humanitarian? The brain of the perfectly normal-sized genius, appropriately proportioned in every dimension? It wasn’t, say, from the ‘grotesquely, comically huge’ shelf, was it?”

“No, master.”

It’s alive! ALIVE!


The ticker has finally begun over at Countdown to Halloween, and if you’re looking for spooky, seasonal content this month, there’s no better place to find it. And a lot of it. Back when I started doing the countdown, there were twelve bloggers doing it, and this year, by John’s count, there’s already ONE HUNDRED NINETY-SEVEN participants. It’s almost daunting, but fun-daunting.

Get your pumpkin spice coffee, find a chair that’s comfortable and safe, and prepare yourself for… reading. Lots and lots of reading.

In Brief: Freddy’s Nightmares

Bad television or AVANT GARDE?

Bad television or AVANT GARDE?

It is… interminable. Every single episode fails to end when it should, which is about four minutes after it begins. It is painful, unending, and yet thematically perfect. It is, in fact, a nightmare. Nothing makes sense, nothing follows logic, and you are unable to escape. I almost respect it in my loathing.